AMG

Need to be happy real quick? Fear not. Think about this shit:

- Scrunchies.

- Cheesefries.

- Listening to “Sittin By The Dock Of The Bay” by Otis Redding back to back with “Got To Give It Up” by Marvin Gaye.

- Episodes of Daria.

- The fact that most of our uncles wore cut-off shirts in the 80’s.

- Also, if you’re in London and Tinker Bell just dropped some sparkly shit on your head you’ll probably be able to fly if you can pop out just one happy thought. Even if it was just an absinthe fairy. If that’s not motivation I don’t know what is.

- Cheeseburgers.

- Hot ladies, hot fellas, or hotties of any gender in between. Whatever you prefer.

- Ice cream.

- The concept of telling your boss to “fuck off”.

- ORGASMS.

- Also, smoke weed throughout this entire process.

That should do it.

Need to cry on demand? Don’t know what to do?

LOOK NO FURTHER. Think about these things rapidly over and over again, in this order:

- The first 30 minutes of Bambi.

- The last 30 minutes of Toy Story 3.

- “Do You Realize” by The Flaming Lips back-to-back with ”Follow You into The Dark” by Deathcab For Cutie (while sitting in the dark). While on your period. (non-menstruating individuals are on your own for this, just get emotional as best you can.)

- The last 30 minutes of Terms of Endearment.

- That time you sat on your pet turtle cause you were high. “RIP Mr. Purple Urple Turtle.”

- The first 30 minutes of UP.

- Oh, yeah, don’t forget to slice onions vigorously throughout this entire process

That should do it.